Jokes About — MATH?!
Who doesn't love a good joke?
Here are some real zingers to share with family and friends. Who would have thought math could be so funny?
Units of Measure You Rarely See
Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement: 1 bananosecond
1 million bicycles = 2 megacycles
10 cards = 1 decacards
8 nickels = 2 paradigms
10 aches = 1 kilohurtz
10 microphones = 1 megaphone
10 noses = 1 piconose
453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake
2 untruths = 1 paralyze
Have You Heard This One?
How can you make time fly?
Throw a clock out the window!
Why did the math book look so sad?
Because it had so many problems.
What kind of food do math teachers eat?
Square meals
Why didn't the quarter roll down the hill with the nickel?
Because it had more cents.
Where can you buy a ruler that is 3 feet long?
At a yard sale
Why is the longest human nose on record only 11 inches long?
Otherwise it would be a foot.
What goes up and down but never moves?
The temperature
The more you take, the more you leave behind. What are they?
Footsteps
What gets bigger and bigger the more you take away from it?
A hole
Which is heavier, a pound of bricks or a pound of feathers?
The same — a pound is a pound!
I'm light as a feather, yet the strongest man on Earth can't hold me for more than 5 minutes. What am I?
Breath
Why would you take a ruler to bed with you?
To see how long you sleep.
Can You Solve This?
You have a barrel of root beer and you need to measure out just 1 gallon. How do you do this if you only have a 3 gallon container and a 5 gallon container?
Fill the 3 gallon container with root beer and pour it into the 5 gallon container. Then fill the 3 gallon container again and keep pouring it into the 5 gallon container until it is full to the brim. One gallon will be left in the 3 gallon container.
These tongue twisters were compiled by Edie Coletti for Great Expectations
